Monday, 27 August 2012


Well, we are in our flat. Apartment.  I still want to call it a flat. I have lived in "Flats" a long time now, so that will be a habit to break. Or not. I could just be that asshole who calls their apartment "a flat" and people will think I'm pretentious and I'll just embrace it.

SO back to the flat....

It's a good thing I'm good at small space living. I'm taking my time organizing, but it's not nearly as overwhelming as I had anticipated. Plus, it's actually a bit bigger than our home in the UK, so it's good. I hate the small kitchen, but I hate ALL small kitchens. I'll live. I'm glad I bought a china cabinet because that is really helping me with kitchen storage.

Oz, who had been sleeping in a "side car" crib to our bed, has transitioned AWESOMELY into a toddler bed. He's still in our room, but seriously...kid just blows my mind. I'm still wary about him being in his own room, but I'll get there. At least I'm being honest here, it's more about me than it is him. But "his" room is full of boxes at the moment anyways, so we'll get there.

Unfortunately, both my guys are ill at the moment. A week or so ago Oz had walking pneumonia. A good dose of antibiotics kicked it out, but now Griff has it. He coughs all night, which is horrible and loud and it keeps him up. So the poor guy has had school, work, moving/unpacking and now he can't even rest at night. And then thinking Oz was better, last night he had the runs and it's continued today as well. Hopefully *knocks wood* all of this will leave me alone. I have packing and studying to do.

Ah yes, the GRE...I found my book and have gotten to work. If the study questions are any indicator, I should have no problem with Text Completion and Sentence Equivalence. I do need to pick up more Vocab words on a daily basis. I'm trying to "hurry" through the sections I know I will do alright on the test on.

IT'S MATH. I have to get studying on math. *shiver* I hate just typing the word.

Sunday, 26 August 2012


I am taking the GRE on October 6 and I am already fucked. I was on such a great study schedule and then...

I went to Vegas.

Came home and started looking for an apartment.

Started packing.

Moved into an apartment.

Started unpacking, while trying to organize the chaos.

I know I am going to completely blow this one. I can't even comprehend how I will catch up. I'll have to just eat it. At least I will be able to know how it works.

But there's a possible bright side. I should really call the university and see how important the GRE is to their acceptance process, what score they are looking for, and if the GRE is a formality. If so, I could possibly screw this up and be accepted anyways. I've read that some universities really don't care, they just have to have it (because Universities are in bed with the GRE company. But don't get me started...)

So there's an update on that.

Monday, 20 August 2012

Another Moving Day

Moving Day is tomorrow. I should explain, what an absolute ass Moving Day makes me. I grump out like no other. I moved out of my parents house when I was 20 and I am turning 30 next month. This is my 9th move. All you genius' out there can average that out. I've done a lot of moving. You would think I'd have this shit down to routine. You'd think...

I think I'm especially pissy about this move because it's to another apartment. I should be grateful we'll have our own space, but being in apartment means that there is another move in sight. Yeah, I'm already anticipating the next one. Part of me says, "We'll spend the next year really taking our time looking at houses". Other part of me says, "O hell no. You're staying there for 2 years. NO MORE MOVING".

This is where my gypsy/free spirit alter ego is in paradox. I love to be in new surroundings, I love to nest, and don't get me wrong TRAVELLING is totally my "thing". But moving house is fucking exhausting. I am too much of a nester in that regard. Too many objects.

I am looking forward to unpacking this go round because I haven't seen the majority of my stuff in over a year. That's a long time! So I am going to unpack slowly, methodically, and try and really organize the crap out of, well, our stuff. We'll see how that goes with a toddler.

Friday, 17 August 2012

Yes & No

- We were hoping to be home owners this month and that has fallen through. It's been disappointing and hard, but I shed a few tears and it's time to move on.
-We are moving into an apartment next week. I'm used to small space living, but I can't lie, it's not something I relish going back to. At least this time we'll have 2 bathrooms and walk in closet space. Also, Oz is going to have his own room. Well, eventually. I'm going to set up the 2nd bedroom as a playroom and eventually we will transition him out of our bedroom into his own. For me, it's scary stuff.
- I applied for a job at our local, indie owned, Natural Baby store. I didn't get the job. I'm pretty disappointed in myself. Back in the day, I applied for a job, I got the job. Now I apply and get rejected. I usually put it down to the gap in employment due to my decision to stay home with Oz. But if I can't even be hired at a store that fits with my own parenting philosophy....well, like I said. I'm disappointed in myself. I think I know the 2 things that blew it for me, and I'm sure I came across as an anxious ball of nerves. Apparently I have been put on a future list of potentials, but yeah...Not the greatest moment.
-I have not gone to Zumba or Curves in months. I hate to say that in both places I was made even more self conscious about my body. I wish I could say "fuck it" and just go back and ignore all the people there. I hate that being in a safe environment is so important to my ability to exercise. I absolutely hate my body right now. I am so uncomfortable. I have never had an issue with my body the way I do now.
-I am excited about my birthday next month. I'm excited about the things I'm going to see and do. The people I will get a chance to visit with. And then comes OCTOBER and all the Halloween things.

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Whatever Gets you Through the Night

We were driving down the highway today and this song came on the radio. I had a moment that comes along not that often, where I feel very overwhelmed by the "What might have been" about John Lennon. He died 2 years before I was born, so I have no point of reference of his living persona during my life. Only the legacy. But how many pop stars have been assassinated ? Seriously? Of all the people that are killed for religious or political reasons, how often does that happen to a cultural icon? NOT OFTEN. I think of the "What ifs" and possibilities and it makes me sad.

As for what is getting me through the night....lately it has been Doctor Who and my knitting. I should be studying for the GRE, but I have to take it in doses, otherwise all the words start to jumble and stop making sense. I just returned from a very busy trip to Vegas, and although it was only 4 days, my routine has been completely disrupted. I can not shake this jet-lag. Today I was supposed to, hoping to, hear some answers on some pretty big things circling around us. I anticipate the answer to both will be "NO", but until I have them in confirmation, I am an anxious ball of nervous energy lacking focus to work on anything.

-tidying up our living space. Seriously, toddlers have to pull out ALL THE TOYS.

Instead I'm just unfocused and glazed over.