It's not even possessions (sometimes). For example, since we are moving back to South Carolina for a bit I would really love to finish my degree at USC Upstate. I had started with a Major in History (Secondary Education). I have about 2 years worth of credits, but I didn't really start in the education classes. I would like to pick up and switch it to a degree in English. Most of the credits I already have would transfer. Then I also found that USC Upstate also does graduate programs in BOTH Library and Information Studies AND Film and Culture Studies. I want both of those. Why do I want so many degrees?
In the picturesque bubble in my head of the future I would love to:
-work part time in a Library
-teach part time Film Studies at a University
-research and publish articles about film/television and fandom.
That is what I would love to do. But 1 degree and 2 Masters would cost so much money and take time. I'm 28...I'll be 29 at the end of the summer. There is so much I want to do in life and I hate that all of those things cost money. Griff still wants to get his degree as well, so at some point I will have to work to help that dream become a reality for him as well.
I know a lot of this has been brewing in my head because I miss school. A lot. I am completely immersed in watching Supernatural at the moment and I don't have an outlet to discuss it like I would when I was at Uni. I miss choosing a topic and researching the hell out of it and having discussions with professors about things I never considered.
Sure, sometimes I want a new pair of shoes or a dress or skirt or new yarn...
I want to find our home and start putting it together.
I want to see so many places in America...I'm ashamed there is so much of Europe we didn't take the time to see and it right next door.
I want a perfect childhood for my son.
I want another baby.
I don't want another baby.
If you say it over and over it starts sound like just a horrible, whining noise.
I want everything.