No such girl

I adore this song so much.

Bitter Pills to swallow

I gave up being thankful this month. Because I'm not thankful. I'm actually pretty angry, frustrated, and bitter. That is not to say I have more than enough things to be thankful for, and I am, but I am not happy with the overall shape of things right now.

Sisters

Day 5: I am thankful for my sisters. I wish I had a picture of us. I have one of the three of us from almost 4 years ago, but I don't have a recent one. That's horrible. I'm going to make that a priority this holiday season.

Some things I love about my sisters:
-Sibling Dinner
-Wandering craft stores together
-Chatting about Young & the Restless
-The laughter. O THE LAUGHTER
-We will pick up little treats for one another just because
-We tend to encourage each others interests/obsessions

Just Dance

Day 4:

I'm thankful for dancing. Of course, this comes back around to Oz because there is no greater part of my day than when he looks at me and says "Mama! Dance!"  pointing to the computer to get the music on so we can start our party.

He loves all sorts of music and keeps great rhythm. And now he is really enjoying music in the car, and I'm sure Greenville is getting an eye fool of me dancing a fool in my car.

Tonight, the Ipod was on shuffle and we were having a dance party to Lady Gaga...earlier tracks included Jackie Wilson, ELO, Foo Fighters, and Kate Bush. I like to keep things diverse.

Better Day

So yesterday I didn't really feel like being thankful. Yesterday kinda sucked, in that grown up way, where you have feel things and hurt and then talk through them till you reach resolution. But resolution was found, and so yeah, today was sunshine and birds and shit.

Day 2 of Thankful:

I don't know if it's thankful, or more excited. But my friend, Terrie-May, who I miss infinity from the UK is going to be working on a cruise ship for several months. We thought the closest port she would be coming into in the US would be Florida and I was thinking "How will I get there?" But no. She is going to be coming to port in CHARLESTON. 3 1/2 flippin' hours away. It's going to be a day of sunshine, rainbows and kittens, i tell you. I completely teared up when she read it, and we were both clapping our hands and giddy like 8 year old girls going to a show with backstage tickets. THAT EXCITED.  I guess I could say that I am thankful that I have such a good friend. I miss her loads and loads. 

Day 3 of Thankful:

That my kid is pretty easy. Toddlers are fucking hard. I do not hide the fact from anyone that this has been a difficult stage for me. But at the end of the day, I can and do recognize that I have it relatively easy. Oz is a great kid. And I can only prove this by giving the example that tonight at bedtime he did not fight getting his teeth brushed, got in the bed after we got his jammies on, and because he hadn't listened earlier and I said no bed time story, he didn't complain or whine that no story was read. Nope. He just rubbed noses and kissed and said "night night" and I closed the door. Dusted. Done. He's a great kid, it's just toddlers are hard. And by hard, I mean exhausting.

We've had a shit day.

Today can totally blow me. It started awesome, and then got shitty real quick. Thank Maude for music. And Blogger. I hate vauge-booking so I try to avoid it, but this is a personal enough space that I can be vague about having a shit day. Morning really, it's only 12.30. Day isn't nearly done. OY.
...I'll be thankful later.

Bicycle Adventures

I really wish we found more time to get out on our bicycles. Lately we do small portions of Greenville's Swamp Rabbit Trail. It's been great for a newbie, like myself, and of course Griff is just happy to be out  on a bike again. Oz absolutely LOVES riding around, talking to us, banging his bongos. I usually pack loads of stuff to keep him occupied, but he never touches any of it. He just looks around. 

It's also nice that it's COOL, and I don't feel sticky and icky from riding around. We get to wrap up in layers and just enjoy the fresh air. Must get out on the bikes more!

Thankful: Day 1

I should start by saying that October rocked my socks off. We did so many awesome, awesome things, and I really need to post them...but I'm going to wait a second. Because it's November, and on Facebook that means 30 Days of Thankfulness. But instead of doing that on my feed I'm going to here (because I said so, that's why!)

DAY 1:
I am thankful for my incredibly patient and supportive husband. I went for a 2nd job interview that I did not get. I am feeling pretty down about it, but instead of pressuring me to just take anything, he knows what my goals are and is happy to wait and let me get there. I can't do retail anymore. I just can't. So for a super patient husband, I am thankful. That Griff is good people.

Pretend Fall

So it's "officially" fall now. I know there's leaves starting to fall from the trees, but it's still pretty warm here. It's annoying. It's cool in the morning, but by afternoon it feels like early summer all over again. What can you do? I'm pretty sure we will not be spending all of our years in the south. I am trying to convince myself that I may do alright in a place with moderate snow. Seriously people, I'm a knitter, I like to wear layers, these things just do not work with the weather here.

Other than the weather, we are still unpacking. We are at the most annoying phase of unpacking. It's where you have only a few boxes left, but you're completely *OVER* unpacking and organizing and you don't really care about the last few things in the boxes. You just want to be done. There have been a few jokes about just chucking the last of it out. The boxes are currently in the 2nd bedroom, and I'm anxious to start transforming it into Oz's room. He's never had a room of his own, so I have a lot of plans. I imagine it's how people feel when they are planning a nursery.

Cycling is fun! Unfortunately we don't get out as much as we would like. Oz LOVES riding around. It's really a great day out for all of us. I'm hoping once this stupid unpacking phase is done, more time will be free and we can just go and DO these things without feeling guilty about all the shit that actually needs to be done.


I also have my computer here now! YAY! APPLAUSE!!! But I can't find my USB to upload photos *sad trombone*. Need to find that.

It's Saturday and the mid-season finale of Doctor Who.

I have a jug of apple cider in the fridge.

There is a sweater that needs to be finished.

I can play autumn even if the weather won't co-operate.

Thirty

Thirty is nothing like I thought it would be. I remember how old it seemed when I was 15. How adult. I don't feel thirty. I don't think I look thirty. I'm most certainly not where I thought would be at thirty.

But despite that, I have felt nothing but overwhelming joy and excitement about my age, about my journey- they places, high and low, that I have been and the path that I am traveling on. So for the month I have done quite a bit of celebrating...

At the beginning of the month I took my eldest nephew, Erik, down to Dragon*Con. I made the trek into Atlanta, a place I usually avoid like the plague. (It's growing on me tho). Because we made it down there for Friday, it was busy, but not CRAZY busy. It took us virtually no time to get through payment,  information and getting our badges. Luckily, I had printed out the entire book of events and had given it to my nephew the night before. We were able to make a crazy awesome time table of the things we wanted to do, and we did pretty much everything we wanted to on Friday. We stayed late into the night, enjoying all the costumes. It's an awesome place to people watch, and furthermore, people are NICE. We met people every time we went to a different panel, or when we sat to eat. People were just talking and friendly. It was a brilliant atmosphere.

Unfortunately, our hotel was about 30 minutes outside the city and it took about an hour to get there. We woke up late the next morning and the line to get in for the 2nd day was just too long, so we had to leave. MAJOR SAD FACE. I felt like I had really let Erik down, but we both really enjoyed Friday, and both agreed....NEXT YEAR, we are staying at one of the 5 host hotels and we are staying the whole weekend. Of course, next year, I will have to bring along Griff and Oz. I missed them way too much!

Then a few days after that we started our drive down to Tampa for my cousin Hayley's wedding. But we couldn't just do a wedding, no way. We were also going to spend a day at the aquarium with imaginary friends (awesome!) and then spend another day swimming with manatees...which ended up being less then stellar. I teared up at my first glimpse of one. He brought his beautiful snout out of the water for air, and I could have kissed that squishy manatee face. I really could have. But our tour guide was extremely obnoxious. I have rarely seen Griff so annoyed by someone. I think what really did it was when he was talking about some musician I hadn't heard of  and he said "Well, I wouldn't expect someone from your generation to hear of them". SERIOUSLY. That is what you say to someone who is turning 30?!?!?! FUCK YOU, DUDE. So Griff decided NO TIP.

It was getting near the end of our tour and we *still* hadn't swam with a manatee, when he finally found one and was like "Into the water". Immediately the manatee swam away. *sighs* So next time, we are going with a different group. This one was very disappointing. But there were a lot of great things. Oz loved being on the boat, took a good long nap, and was just really enjoying the boat ride.

The wedding was lovely. Slightly stressful for me as Oz was in major tantrum mode all the way up until it was time to walk down the aisle (he was ring bearer). But he was all smiles and giggles and gave an adorable "O MY" during the ceremony. The reception he was all about the cupcakes and dancing. Of course, a major plus for the trip was visiting with my cousins. I love them a lot, and I love that even with all the years we missed together, it is so easy to hang out and laugh. They are awesome, amazing people and I love being related to them.

SO then we're back in the Upstate and it's my birthday. And I did nothing. It was so chill, and quiet and just...another. day. It's amazing how that comes to be as you grow older, and how it becomes more and more okay. We had dinner with family the next night, and it was just nice. We made a trip down to Columbia on the Friday to see an event of writers telling stories. Of course, the main draw was Neil Gaiman, but I was surprised at how much I loved all the story tellers that evening. It was a room full of people who love books.

THEN that weekend it was back to Atlanta to meet more imaginary friends and go see Amanda Palmer in concert. It was another amazing weekend. The entire Amanda Palmer show was amazing. I usually don't enjoy opening acts, but no lie, I enjoyed every single moment of that evening. I left feeling...in love, rejuvenated, longing to create. And of course, completely pissed that I decided not to buy a t-shirt. This is a problem I have. I will hem-haw over things I would really like and say "I'll come back to it" and then I miss the opportunity. But here is a link to her performing my favorite song "Bottomfeeder" on her new album "Theatre is Evil". It's not the whole song, but just a glimpse of what a wonderful performer she is. She loves her audience. The feeling is so mutual. I can. not. wait. to see her again.



(Also? This month, I spent the most time away from Oz that I ever have. It's nice to know that I can now leave him with people who love him and he loves, but O how I would miss him. 2 is a hard age, so as much as I sometimes feel like running away screaming tearing out the little bit of hair i have (run on sentence much?), he is so awesome. It's been a weird period of growth between mother and child)

And then this week. This week we bought bicycles. SCARY. We went and rode them on my birthday and I felt 12 again and Griff was so excited and happy we've spent the last few weeks researching everything we need, and a trailer for Oz and yeah...WE BOUGHT BICYCLES.

Why no photos? I don't have my computer yet. It's still at mom's. O yeah, still unpacking and moving. With this crazy month you didn't think we'd be settled, did you? So I will try and have some photos of THINGS soon.

But I guess the point is, there are a lot of scary things about turning 30. My body is so different, but I am coming to terms and trying to love it. I am not thrilled that we are apartment living, but we are discovering things about ourselves as we unpack. For example, we have too much stuff. We are unloading tons because--surprisingly- one thing we apparently took from our travels is that we don't *NEED* to be surrounded by so much. We still have a lot of objects, but we can easily fit in a small space. We are also going to try a new resolution next year...but I think I'll wait till New Year's for that big reveal. There's still so much I want to see. Griff and I miss the road. We miss exploring and seeing people. I am fortunate that I can now say I know someone in almost every part of this country. And a few in Canada. And more than enough in England. And hopefully if we can ever make it to Australia we will know someone there. I feel like our resolve as a couple is to try and experience as much of life as we can, while still trying to find the compromise of a home and feeling comforted. It's a strange goal, but we are constantly evolving. I think that is a good thing.

So hello, THIRTY. Let's move forward.

Name Change Game

Today I went to the DMV to update my address on my license. No biggie...honestly. It's wasn't. It took 15 minutes tops. I was impressed. AND my new picture is really good! AND I became an organ donor. I had sort of a mind block about that for years, and today I just ticked the box and thought nothing more of it.

I texted my sister to tell her about my great picture and she replies "So did you change your name?"

For a brief moment at the DMV I will admit; I considered it. But I couldn't be bothered. And I guess that's the truth of the matter. I can't be bothered to change my name.

When we married, it would have cost me a small fortune to pay for a new passport and visa, and at that point, I just did not want to spend the money. We were married, that was all that mattered. Griff has even said, he never expected me to change my name. I think once we had Oscar he thought I might, but now it's become more of a curiosity as to why I haven't done it.

I don't love my maiden name. It's difficult to pronounce and I always have to spell it. It's not a great name, but it's the one I have. I've been hyphenated before, and I'm not keen to do that again either. Then you have to spell 2 names instead of one.

I have Griff's surname on facebook as just show that we are married. It was exciting when we got married, but I tell you now, that is the ONLY place where we share a last name. I do not have one official document with what would be my married name.

It led to a great convo with Griff about names tho. I don't have an aversion to his name. I don't have a great love for my name. But it appears that I do have attachment. It's the only name I've ever had, and for one reason or another, not one that I can easily define and put a finger to, I do not want to change it. I don't understand why we, as women, are expected to. My marriage and family unit is plenty strong without ONE name.  It does make me wonder how many women say goodbye to their maiden name and feel sad, or really hate the name they feel like they have to take?

Next year my license will expire, so if I change my mind, it would be a good opportunity to make the change over. But at this moment, I'm doubtful if I ever will.

Moved

Well, we are in our flat. Apartment.  I still want to call it a flat. I have lived in "Flats" a long time now, so that will be a habit to break. Or not. I could just be that asshole who calls their apartment "a flat" and people will think I'm pretentious and I'll just embrace it.

SO back to the flat....

It's a good thing I'm good at small space living. I'm taking my time organizing, but it's not nearly as overwhelming as I had anticipated. Plus, it's actually a bit bigger than our home in the UK, so it's good. I hate the small kitchen, but I hate ALL small kitchens. I'll live. I'm glad I bought a china cabinet because that is really helping me with kitchen storage.

Oz, who had been sleeping in a "side car" crib to our bed, has transitioned AWESOMELY into a toddler bed. He's still in our room, but seriously...kid just blows my mind. I'm still wary about him being in his own room, but I'll get there. At least I'm being honest here, it's more about me than it is him. But "his" room is full of boxes at the moment anyways, so we'll get there.

Unfortunately, both my guys are ill at the moment. A week or so ago Oz had walking pneumonia. A good dose of antibiotics kicked it out, but now Griff has it. He coughs all night, which is horrible and loud and it keeps him up. So the poor guy has had school, work, moving/unpacking and now he can't even rest at night. And then thinking Oz was better, last night he had the runs and it's continued today as well. Hopefully *knocks wood* all of this will leave me alone. I have packing and studying to do.

Ah yes, the GRE...I found my book and have gotten to work. If the study questions are any indicator, I should have no problem with Text Completion and Sentence Equivalence. I do need to pick up more Vocab words on a daily basis. I'm trying to "hurry" through the sections I know I will do alright on the test on.

IT'S MATH. I have to get studying on math. *shiver* I hate just typing the word.

GRE

I am taking the GRE on October 6 and I am already fucked. I was on such a great study schedule and then...

I went to Vegas.

Came home and started looking for an apartment.

Started packing.

Moved into an apartment.

Started unpacking, while trying to organize the chaos.

I know I am going to completely blow this one. I can't even comprehend how I will catch up. I'll have to just eat it. At least I will be able to know how it works.

But there's a possible bright side. I should really call the university and see how important the GRE is to their acceptance process, what score they are looking for, and if the GRE is a formality. If so, I could possibly screw this up and be accepted anyways. I've read that some universities really don't care, they just have to have it (because Universities are in bed with the GRE company. But don't get me started...)

So there's an update on that.

Another Moving Day

Moving Day is tomorrow. I should explain, what an absolute ass Moving Day makes me. I grump out like no other. I moved out of my parents house when I was 20 and I am turning 30 next month. This is my 9th move. All you genius' out there can average that out. I've done a lot of moving. You would think I'd have this shit down to routine. You'd think...

I think I'm especially pissy about this move because it's to another apartment. I should be grateful we'll have our own space, but being in apartment means that there is another move in sight. Yeah, I'm already anticipating the next one. Part of me says, "We'll spend the next year really taking our time looking at houses". Other part of me says, "O hell no. You're staying there for 2 years. NO MORE MOVING".

This is where my gypsy/free spirit alter ego is in paradox. I love to be in new surroundings, I love to nest, and don't get me wrong TRAVELLING is totally my "thing". But moving house is fucking exhausting. I am too much of a nester in that regard. Too many objects.

I am looking forward to unpacking this go round because I haven't seen the majority of my stuff in over a year. That's a long time! So I am going to unpack slowly, methodically, and try and really organize the crap out of, well, our stuff. We'll see how that goes with a toddler.

Yes & No

No:
- We were hoping to be home owners this month and that has fallen through. It's been disappointing and hard, but I shed a few tears and it's time to move on.
Yes:
-We are moving into an apartment next week. I'm used to small space living, but I can't lie, it's not something I relish going back to. At least this time we'll have 2 bathrooms and walk in closet space. Also, Oz is going to have his own room. Well, eventually. I'm going to set up the 2nd bedroom as a playroom and eventually we will transition him out of our bedroom into his own. For me, it's scary stuff.
No:
- I applied for a job at our local, indie owned, Natural Baby store. I didn't get the job. I'm pretty disappointed in myself. Back in the day, I applied for a job, I got the job. Now I apply and get rejected. I usually put it down to the gap in employment due to my decision to stay home with Oz. But if I can't even be hired at a store that fits with my own parenting philosophy....well, like I said. I'm disappointed in myself. I think I know the 2 things that blew it for me, and I'm sure I came across as an anxious ball of nerves. Apparently I have been put on a future list of potentials, but yeah...Not the greatest moment.
No:
-I have not gone to Zumba or Curves in months. I hate to say that in both places I was made even more self conscious about my body. I wish I could say "fuck it" and just go back and ignore all the people there. I hate that being in a safe environment is so important to my ability to exercise. I absolutely hate my body right now. I am so uncomfortable. I have never had an issue with my body the way I do now.
Yes:
-I am excited about my birthday next month. I'm excited about the things I'm going to see and do. The people I will get a chance to visit with. And then comes OCTOBER and all the Halloween things.

Whatever Gets you Through the Night

We were driving down the highway today and this song came on the radio. I had a moment that comes along not that often, where I feel very overwhelmed by the "What might have been" about John Lennon. He died 2 years before I was born, so I have no point of reference of his living persona during my life. Only the legacy. But how many pop stars have been assassinated ? Seriously? Of all the people that are killed for religious or political reasons, how often does that happen to a cultural icon? NOT OFTEN. I think of the "What ifs" and possibilities and it makes me sad.

As for what is getting me through the night....lately it has been Doctor Who and my knitting. I should be studying for the GRE, but I have to take it in doses, otherwise all the words start to jumble and stop making sense. I just returned from a very busy trip to Vegas, and although it was only 4 days, my routine has been completely disrupted. I can not shake this jet-lag. Today I was supposed to, hoping to, hear some answers on some pretty big things circling around us. I anticipate the answer to both will be "NO", but until I have them in confirmation, I am an anxious ball of nervous energy lacking focus to work on anything.

I COULD BE.....
-knitting
-scrapbooking
-reading
-studying
-tidying up our living space. Seriously, toddlers have to pull out ALL THE TOYS.

Instead I'm just unfocused and glazed over.

Healing.

Regrets collect like old friends 
Here to relive your darkest moments 
I can see no way, I can see no way 
And all of the ghouls come out to play 

And every demon wants his pound of flesh 
But I like to keep some things to myself 
I like to keep my issues strong 
It's always darkest before the dawn 

And I've been a fool and I've been blind 
I can never leave the past behind 
I can see no way, I can see no way 
I'm always dragging that horse around 

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound 
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground 
So I like to keep my issues strong 
But it's always darkest before the dawn 

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah 
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah 

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back 
So shake him off, oh woah 

I am done with my graceless heart 
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart 
Cause I like to keep my issues strong 
It's always darkest before the dawn 

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah 
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah 

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back 
So shake him off, oh woah 

And given half the chance would I take any of it back 
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone 
It's always darkest before the dawn 

Oh woah, oh woah... 

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't 
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope 
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope 
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat 
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me 
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me 
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me 



[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/florence+and+the+machine/shake+it+out_20983616.html ] 

Shut me up.

This land is your land...Wait. No, lemme change that...

My PSA for the moment:

The election season is really starting to heat up. Facebook is absolutely awash with people sharing their views in easy to read infographics. I know, as a woman, this political season has been a jaw-dropping, nail-biting cluster fuck of me wondering how in the hell these things are happening (again).

But I'm not going to talk to you about Women's Rights-although make no mistake, I have PLENTY opinions about all that....

No, I'm going to talk to you right now about immigration. People banging on about closing the borders. Build a wall. Send them back. America for Americans.

My husband is an immigrant. My son is an immigrant. We are a little family that has done more paperwork to be together than most Americans would see in a lifetime. Being an immigrant is hard and it is scary. I know, because most of my adult life so far, was living as an immigrant myself in the UK.

While America and England share so much culturally, there are glaring differences, and being out of the climate that you were raised can induce a lot of feelings of panic, isolation, and depression. Being an immigrant can be a  thrilling, amazing experience, but make no mistake, it is scary.

Now, usually, when this sort of banter begins and I point out that my little family is a little family of immigrants, people usually like to say "Well, it's different". Why? Because we're white? We speak English? Because we filled out our paperwork correctly? Technically, by these neo-conservative standards of wrong, my husband has still "stolen" a job that should rightfully belong to an American. Never mind that it is to support HIS family (of course, including his apparent "anchor" baby).


The isolationist propaganda frightens me. This is a country that was built from immigrants. As a country, we take an almost disgusting amount of pride in our individual heritages without even really knowing what that necessarily means sometimes, other than to perpetuate cultural stereotypes. How we can be prideful of a past we are so disconnected from? Why are we so afraid of a continual influx?

This USA makes it nearly impossible to enter this country via any way except through marriage. It was easier for Griff and I to live for years in England and decide to finally marry on our own terms and in our own time, rather than simply marry in the US so we could stay together. Many couples have no other option. Never mind the fact that if you are a same-sex couple, you are virtually screwed. And au-pairs? No way. While other countries have visas that allow part time work while traveling, America says no. And even if you are fortunate to get a work visa, be prepared to be heavily investigated. America does not want you.

So the talk turns to illegal immigrants. We can all agree that it is wrong to break the law. But I take issue with the statement that being illegal is somehow easy. No way. Being legal can be stressful enough, but being illegal I'm sure is terrifying. I take issue with a law that would say "We can stop you at any time and for any reason to check your papers because YOU LOOK ILLEGAL".

This is not a brilliant piece of writing. But recently, my feelings were hurt by people I care for, by a thoughtless infograph. My family matters, my family exists. We may not fit the stereotype that you are rallying against, but make no mistake, we are immigrants.

Evil

Music Monday

Yeah, I posted Beastie Boys the other week and I'm about to do it again. I can't help it. I keep hearing their music everywhere and whenever they come on, it always feels right. So enjoy, my Music Monday friends.

Wuthering Heights

I have been very nostalgic for England lately. I probably won't feel this way once the Olympics start (because I do not envy a person there. It will be mad). But anyways, NOSTALGIA. It's a funny thing. I always moaned about how horrible the summers were, and in a funny twist, the past week has been very much like an English summer. Grey and wet (only more humid here). Hopefully the sun will come out so I can take Oz swimming soon. Anyways...MUSIC.

Treasure

I wish you could buy this song. It's my favorite from Yo Gabba and I love to sing it to Oz. *sighs*

Busy

Good golly miss molly. I haven't been posting lately because it's just been insanely busy. A lot of time went into running around getting things together for Oz's 2nd birthday (which I will try and post about soon enough).

Secondly, we have been hunting both a car for Griff--I am amazed we made it a whole year as a 1 car family! god, how i miss public transport!--and we having been apartment hunting. Wow have prices gone up in Greenville. I'm sometimes shocked at what people pay to rent an apartment. But you can't find listings for home for rent and we haven't really had the time to just ride around areas hoping to find a FOR RENT sign.

I thought we had found a place, but then I found an apartment reviews website and it just sounds like everyone in apartments hate being in the them and all of them are terrible places and don't live in any of them. *SIGHS*. I thought we had made a choice, but now I feel like we are back to square one. I thought looking further out like Simpsonville and Mauldin would be cheaper options, but surprisingly, they are just as expensive as Greenville. I would try Greer and/or Taylors, but to be honest, we really need to be close to the highway.

If someone wants to point me in a magical direction, I would be much obliged....

Travel Rewind: Inbetween Days

Between leaving Pennsylvania and going to Kentucky, we stopped in West

Virginia. This was a hard time for us as a family and me personally.

This is when I was crying and saying "I want to go home! I don't need

to see any of these things!". We had been rained on too many days. It

was starting to get cold. 2 nights before we had stayed at one

campground and during the night a bear was sighted in the dumpster.

This gave me a panic attack that lasted for days on end. How do I keep

my baby safe from a bear? Everything we do to be safe, suddenly didn't

feel safe enough. In Greenville, you sometimes hear about a bear being

in the city and climbing up someone's tree and usually it's ushered

back to safety or makes its own way. To me, it's something else

entirely to be in the bear's environment. I felt very vulnerable with

only a tent around us.

The next night we found a campsite that reassured us there were no

bears. It was hard enough getting into the campsite tho, because there

was a storm coming and it was after 8. Griff begged and finally the

let us in so we could set up. We quickly got the tent up and our bed

settled. I asked Griff to drive me up to the restrooms because I

didn't want to try and find it in the dark when I didn't have my

bearings.

The bathroom was on par with the one from Trainspotting. I came out

retching and gagging. The rest of the night wasn't easy either. The

loudest thunder storm I have ever heard came right on top of us. The

thunder was so loud I was coming out of my sleep in a panic.

Amazingly, Oz slept thru the entire thing.

The next morning we packed tent and headed out towards West Virgina.

We stayed at what was called a State Park Resort. Confused? Me too. It

has camping and trails, but also a hotel, spa and golf course. And

marina. And signs warning about deer, possums and BEARS. Good Grief.

It was during our stay here I thought I was going to lose it. We went

out to breakfast and a sign on the wall said something along the lines

of "Don't wait for the storm to pass, but try and find joy in the

rain". We smirked and tried to realign our thinking.

Instead of trying to figure out where were would be going day to day,

I sat down and mapped our journey all the way through to Seattle. I

said I wanted to do KOA's for a few nights, instead of just trying to

find somewhere, also day to day. I wanted from there on to know where

we would be sleeping that night and have the tent up before dark.

That night was our coldest ever. Griff and I slept hardly at all

between freezing and making sure Oz was warm enough. Of course he was.

He has the warmest space in the bed, cuddled right between Griff and me.

Since then, we've done pretty well. Obviously. I had my cry, and we

trucked on. We found a KOA directory and I have been pretty great at

aligning our stops with their campgrounds. They are hardly ever

scenic, but they are convienent, and for that I'm grateful that they

exist.I'm hoping I will be over my bear anxiety soon enough so we can

do a few more scenic places. I feel like it would be wasteful

otherwise. We'll see tho. Right now we're just enjoying ourselves.

 On reason for the cold, was that we were right on the water. 

 Another reason, the tent had to be on this platform and the wind would blow in off the water and then come right up through the deck. It was absolute hell.

GRIFF: Thank you again for my hat.  This has been the coldest night of the entire trip (If I looked carefully with the torch, I could see Oscars breath while he was asleep in the tent) and the hat and gloves and thermals that you insisted I buy made a HUGE difference.

Travel Rewind: Groundhog Day!

 We went to Punxsutawny, Pennsylvania. The Weather Capital of the

World. If you are so inclined to take a visit, make it a stop. We did

and we did everything worth doing there in an hour. That's not to say

it's not a nice place, but if it's not Groundhog Day, the small town

doesn't have much to offer, entertainment wise. Unfortunately, the

film also made it look a lot cuter than it is. It sounds like I'm

dissing Punx, and I'm not. I'm justs saying...it's small. And you can

do it in an afternoon.

 GRIFF: Groundhog Day is one of my favourite films, so we had to visit Punxsutawny (I'll trust Ashleys spelling) and it was fun, but it seems like the touristness of the town is exclusively set up for just a weekend or 2 each year and would be a lot more fun during that time.

SO the whole time I was living in England I never ever watched a single episode of Dr. Who.

I asked Griff about it a few times. Should we watch? Had he watched it? He always said he didn't like it really and so I never pushed the issue. Whatever...we watch enough TV. I didn't *really* need a new show. But there ya go...

So I'd noticed it was on Netflix and a fair few people I know watch it. I couldn't take it anymore and asked Griff if we could PUH-LEASE try watching Dr. Who. I had to know what all the fuss was about.

And stupid me, I HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT. It's fantastic (albeit, we are only watching the new series available on Netflix. I am going to have to search out the old ones). Anyways,  it's a bit of a different choice for Music Monday, but I love the theme and yeah, I've been hearing it a lot lately.

Wishlist Wednesday: Tea Time

I should stop lying. "Wishlist Wednesday" is really becoming "Fuck it! Let's just buy it! Wednesday".  Threadless is currently have a t-shirt sale, and if there's 2 things I love it's 1-Threadless and 2- Tshirts.  So I bought 1 for me, 2 for Griff. My mom bought one for Oz and my sister bought another for Oz (and one for herself). They only had a few left of this on in my size and I have been eyeballing it FOREVER. So now it's is mine. Off the wishlist and into my closet!!!!

Friends of the Library

If you pay attention, you can actually find a fair few things to do in Greenville. But like I said, you have to PAY ATTENTION. For example, by checking our local library's website weekly, I discovered that the Friends of the Library book sale was coming up. It immediately went on the calendar. It was a three day event, and the opening sale day was only for member of Friends of the Library. So we joined. (Didn't want to miss a day of sales, now did we?). 

By the end of the weekend we had spent close to $100 on few boxes of books. Truth be told, Griff and I probably could go a year or 2 with all the books we have that we haven't read yet. Maybe next year (yeah, right.). I'd be curious to know what we spend a year in books. I'm getting off subject...

Oz picked out these 2 books and chucked them in a box. Neither of us noticed until we got home and Griff put them in my pile of books, and then I was all "Why are you putting your books in my pile?". Eventually we figured out what had happened. When Griff was standing in Sci-fi, Oz picked these ones out. And they are both hilarious.  Footprints of Thunder says it's what would happened if you combined Jurassic Park with The Twilight Zone. Uh....yes, please!!

Castle Perilous I haven't read the back of yet. But the cover is hilarious. There's a castle, some mythical creatures, a couple dinosaurs...and golf. There are people golfing. The guy on the right in the yellow shirt is actually holding a glass of wine. I have no idea what this book is about.

This was Griff's score of the weekend. He was so overjoyed finding this collection of Norby books. They are a children's science fiction series written by Janet Asimov (for the most part) with a little help from Isaac Asimov. I know that as soon as Oz is a bit older, Griff will start reading these to him.

Here is Griff's overall collection from the sale. He always does so well. But he reads a lot of sci-fi, math, science books, so there is a lot to cover. Lately he is very interested in the history of maths.

Here is my modest collection. On top is Five Fortunes which I read back in high school and loved. I'm curious if I will still enjoy it. It popped into my head a few weeks ago, so I was happy to find it. I also found A History of the Wife, which I had taken out at the library a few times. I think I was originally reading it in England, and then took it out at the library again when I got to the US. It's history, and a bit slow going, but I love the information so NOW, I own it and get through it at my leisure.

And if you notice on the bottom right stack, I found a copy of the GRE study guide. I am hoping to take the GRE in the next few months. I have a lot of anxiety about it. I am horrible at math. I tried doing a basic algebra problem in front of Griff the other day and I was so embarrassed at how wrong I got it. He is happy to tutor me, but he is very smart. I find it ridiculous that I have already earned a degree, but I have to take a test to be considered for a Master's program. I start to have a lot of anger at myself for not pushing through with the course I had been accepted to in England. Could-a, Would-a, Should-a. I'll keep you posted on the GRE....

And sadly, I only picked out 2 books for Oz. It was just crazy in there, and with children's books you really have to sit and go through them. Especially when they are second-hand, as I find you usually come across scrawling and torn pages. The other small stack are the "cross over" books Griff and I will both read. As you can see, we don't read a lot of the same stuff.