Easter Sunday

"It's what I do that defines me"

My baby is going to be 11 months old next week. Just a little over a month and he'll 1. I did what everyone told me to. I've cuddled and cherished every minute and it's still flying by so quickly. I feel like my life had been going in slow motion and then he's arrived and kicked it into over drive. One day he won't wear matching Batman t-shirts with me. Lately I've been trying to sneak in a lots of extra cuddles, especially at nap time when he'll still let me cradle and rock him into sleep. *sighs* This time in his life is amazing. He is so curious about everything and his personality is just shining thru...Right, I'm going to go play with the baby now.

Right there in your back yard

I've been doing a lot of thinking about our upcoming move. I'm nervous and excited and also very sad about leaving England; which leads to thinking a lot about what all I'll be leaving behind and what I haven't even done.

I've seen very little of the country itself outside of London. We've been a lot better about this since we've gotten a car, but that's 4 years we could have been road tripping around. I've seen Brighton and Liverpool and loved them both. And if we ever do decide to move back, more than likely we'd like to live outside of London. I've been to Ireland, but still haven't seen Scotland. How is that possible?

Which leads me to my huge Euro-regret. I have been here over 5 years and haven't seen nearly enough of Europe. I've seen Paris and loved it. We loved it so much that we toyed with the idea of learning French and moving there. That obviously didn't happen, but it is a beautiful city. We aimlessly walked the streets not knowing what we would find and I thought "No wonder Parisians think the rest of the world is ugly, by comparison it is."

One summer we went to a resort in a teeny tiny town in Sicily and we did nothing but lounge around on the beach and read. Between the 2 of us we read 10 books in that week. We spent our anniversary out on a terrace overlooking the ocean, drinking a bottle of champagne playing the card game War. It was there that we decided to to elope to Vegas rather than deal with the headache of wedding planning. The only touristy thing we did was make the trip up to Mount Etna, and it was fabulous. But we vacationed like normal people do. Sat on the beach doing not a lot. It wasn't that urgency of "I HAVE TO SEE EVERYTHING". We got home feeling rested.

And that's it. I've been to Amsterdam, but that was when I was dating Griff and, to be honest, I hated it. It stank and the hostel was the most disgusting place I've ever seen. I actually slept in my clothes (not PJs, my clothes), on top of the sheets, my head rested on my backpack, because the bed smelt of mold. It was disgusting. So we left. I did enjoy the Sex Museum tho. And I would have loved to have gone back with just Griff for a weekend (to the city, not just the Sex Museum)...but it never happened.

Neither did Barcelona.

Or Rome.

Or St. Petersburg.

Or Germany.

Or Greece.

Or. India.

There's a whole list, but I'll stop there. At the moment I am overwhelmed with guilt and frustration that I did not take proper advantage of what was just at my doorstep. Instead, thinking that I was going to live out the rest of my years in the UK, we spent a large portion of vacations going back to the States to visit my family. Because I love my family and I have missed them and it seemed the appropriate and right thing to do. I didn't know things would change. That I would change. That I would want to move back.

I am blessed that I have seen more than some people have in a lifetime. I know that and I need to keep that perspective. Griff and I also talk about "when the kids are older" and maybe that's when we'll spend our time trekking around Europe. I just know I have to let this guilt go. I can't change the past and I have so many things I am looking forward to about our future as a family.

Thing I'll miss about England....being close to Europe.

Shoot me with you Laser Beam

So my little UFO. I actually had this one planned out for a few years and I was excited to finally see it. Griff loves to read sci-fi BUT ONLY if it's between the eras of the 1930s-1960s (I'm sure there's some 70s in there as well, but I'm not 100%). So I think it's pretty simple. He's the sci-fi nerd that stole my heart. This one was also done by Katan at Old London Road Tattoos in Kingston. How I wish we were staying longer so I could have her do my half-sleeve!

I want to hug you till I die

Well, it's only taken 2 1/2 years post wedding, but I've finally gotten around to getting the wedding tattoos done. I didn't want to get Griff's name on me, because for some reason I think that's bad luck, also I don't foresee me forgetting Griff's name and needing to spot check it. Plus, it's a lot more fun trying to find something a bit more meaningful.

So the first one was based of of these 2 skeletons found in Italy. The story was released a few years ago, but the image has remained quite popular. I kept waiting for a follow up story saying they were a hoax, but apparently not.

So I asked for a "girly" version of the skeletons hugging. I wanted them to be inside of a heart and I may or may not have mentioned the word "kitsch". Either way, the artist, Katan, exceeded my expectations. I can not draw at all, but I have to say it looks a 1000x better than what I imagined in my head.

Pop Culture Vacuum

Sometimes I envy Griff and how dejected he is from pop culture. He doesn't care about it and doesn't pay it any attention. He wouldn't know who Lady Gaga is, and only does know because I listen to her. His favorite band is Iron Maiden, and to this day he couldn't tell you the name of ONE MEMBER of that band. But my favorite example came from us driving home one evening.

I have to channel surf the radio. I'm "that person" in the relationship. I landed on Absolute Radio and they were playing Nirvana's "Lithium"; which is probably my favorite Nirvana song if I were to chose one...so I left it there.

Griff: "This song sucks"

Me: "What?"

Griff: "Listen to it! It's horrible!"

Me: "Do you know who this is?"

Griff: "No".

No one says that about Nirvana. Sure most of us probably think they are extremely overrated, but NO ONE goes about admitting that! It just made me laugh...

Now what?

*sighs* My 30 Days of Music are up. I'm not sure what to blog about now. I found that having something to do specifically was a great motivator to get on here...and it made me update other things a bit more naturally. All day today I wanted to post SOMETHING. But I have nada. Hopefully I'll come up with something soon. I lose :P

Day 30- Favorite song from this time last year.

One of the songs from my Bumble Playlist; waiting for little Oscar to get here. <3

Song from Childhood Take 2

Me and my younger sister LOVED music videos, and almost more than music videos we loved to stage our own music "videos" (they were never recorded, just acted out). The best were duets. We could seriously rock a duet. Costumes, microphones the works...we had a lot of fun. This was one of all time favorites to sing. I would take Reba vocals.

Music Challenge-day 29 - a song from your childhood

So many of the songs I remember about my childhood are memories of me riding around in the backseat while either mom or dad was driving. They both love music and we listened to a lot. This one I remember my dad went thru a massive phase of playing ALL THE TIME, especially on the morning drive to school.

To follow up Wuthering Heights...

I have such a crush on Noel Fielding.

Music Challenge-Day 28- A song that makes you feel guilty

I'm not sure what that means exactly. If a song makes me feel guilty, surely I would turn it off and never listen to it again? I honestly can not think of a song that induces in me the feelings of GUILT. I find that to be a very different thing to a guilty pleasure (which has already been listed). So I'm not going to try and come up with a song that makes me feel that way. I've thought it over and it would be contrived.

I'll just share a song I like. We all need more Kate Bush in our lives anyways...and apparently she's working on a new album! Rejoice!

And on a side note...Did you have to read Wuthering Heights in high school? I did and I hated it! I thought Heathcliff and Cathy were just horrible people who deserved their misery. For some reason I think I should re-read it as an adult. Sometimes you just don't get these things when you're 18. *shrugs*

Stickers for Fitness- MARCH

Right. March I decided I had to start exercising to get this baby weight shifting. I know, I know..."Go me" blah blah blah. I don't LOVE exercise, but I'd much rather do that then diet. I have never done a fad diet and I don't plan to. I like what I eat and I eat pretty well, but I need more movement in my life. So I joined Curves and have been going to Zumba when I can. To keep my good and accountable I've put stickers on all the days that I exercise. This can be Zumba, Curves or good LONG walks with the baby.

Music Challenge- Day 27- a song that you want to play on an instrument

I think this would work well on a Uke and I seem to catch myself singing it a LOT lately. So on a search I will go to find it...

Music Challenge-day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument

I have so much fun playing it too!

A Post about Chickens

Me: Griff, what do you think about us raising chickens?

Griff: Where did that come from?

M: I dunno, but what do you think about it?

G: We could have our own coop? But with a little dash between the c-o and the 0-p.

M: So it'd be "Co-op"?

G: Yeah.

M: We'd have a chicken coop and call it the "New Day Co-Op"!

G: YES!

That's a reference to The Wire. Hope you enjoyed...it had us in hysterics.

Music Challenge-day 25 - a song that makes you laugh

I think Bill Bailey will also fall into my "Things I'll miss from England" category.

Music Challenge-day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral

It has to be this version tho.

Oscar -10 months

It's amazing the change between 9 and 10 months. Last month Oscar was always on the cusp of change and now he is doing everything. Last night he took his first steps unaided by parents, but with the help of his walker. Didn't he JUST learn to crawl? He pulls up onto everything. While I'm typing this he is standing, in love, watching the clothes in the washer and pushing the button to turn it on and off (which is annoying the crap out of me, I really need to figure something out...).

He had mastered waving but now he has added clapping and he claps ALL the time. It's amazing the things that bring him so much happiness. I wish I was that easily happy...well, sometimes I am. HE makes me ridiculously happy.

I think it's time we put the mattress on the floor. He's just too interested in crawling off the bed or pulling himself up on the barrier.

And all of a sudden, my baby has an appetite and wants to eat EVERYTHING. Cranberry and Brie baguette is a favorite, but the other night he want pretty crazy on spaghetti. Griff and I both feel so confident that baby-led weaning has been the way to go. It's also made ME a better eater because if he wants what I have, it damned well better be good for both of us. Except for ice cream. I don't eat a lot of ice cream, but when I have it- he wants it and he *REALLY* loves the ice cream.

My Bumble is a busy bee...

Music Challenge-day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding

Sorry for the crappy video. Weezer didn't actually make a video for this song. Again,if we'd had a wedding, I would have surely played this song.

Music Challenge-day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad

Billie Holiday will definitely do it to you. Add a few glasses of wine and you're done.

"I want I want I want..."

It's a phrase that seems to be constantly escaping from my lips and I always hate myself when I hear them pass. I told Griff that I feel so ashamed for wanting things and he said it was weird and he doesn't see me like that at all.

It's not even possessions (sometimes). For example, since we are moving back to South Carolina for a bit I would really love to finish my degree at USC Upstate. I had started with a Major in History (Secondary Education). I have about 2 years worth of credits, but I didn't really start in the education classes. I would like to pick up and switch it to a degree in English. Most of the credits I already have would transfer. Then I also found that USC Upstate also does graduate programs in BOTH Library and Information Studies AND Film and Culture Studies. I want both of those. Why do I want so many degrees?

In the picturesque bubble in my head of the future I would love to:

-work part time in a Library

-teach part time Film Studies at a University

-research and publish articles about film/television and fandom.

That is what I would love to do. But 1 degree and 2 Masters would cost so much money and take time. I'm 28...I'll be 29 at the end of the summer. There is so much I want to do in life and I hate that all of those things cost money. Griff still wants to get his degree as well, so at some point I will have to work to help that dream become a reality for him as well.

I know a lot of this has been brewing in my head because I miss school. A lot. I am completely immersed in watching Supernatural at the moment and I don't have an outlet to discuss it like I would when I was at Uni. I miss choosing a topic and researching the hell out of it and having discussions with professors about things I never considered.

Sure, sometimes I want a new pair of shoes or a dress or skirt or new yarn...

I want to find our home and start putting it together.

I want to see so many places in America...I'm ashamed there is so much of Europe we didn't take the time to see and it right next door.

I want a perfect childhood for my son.

I want another baby.

I don't want another baby.

want

want

want

want

If you say it over and over it starts sound like just a horrible, whining noise.

I want everything.

Music Challenge-day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy

30 Days of Music Challenge-day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry

Too obvious?

Music Challenge DO OVER challenge 19

I do love Interpol's Antics album, I do. But hello? TORI AMOS LITTLE EARTHQUAKES. I almost got out of bed to change this...I didn't tho. I waited till today. This is also, without a doubt, my favorite song from that album.